Moments of Doubt

MOMENTS OF DOUBTS. By David Roberts. Pp. 237, 1986. (The Mountaineers, Seattle, $ 13.95).

This is a collection of 20 essays and articles on mountaineering and adventure. They were written over two decades. The collec¬tion is divided in three sections, Adventure, Profiles and Reflec¬tions. Each section deals with a variety of subject. The book covers a wide area, from Huntington, Kilimanjaro, K2, Gunks and ethers. It covers many personalities and mountain philosophy.

David Roberts writes intelligently and makes every piece inte¬resting. There is frankness, criticism, anger and accurate narra¬tion. Each article is introduced with a short note. He ruminates about his own climbing and writing; ‘There is a pleasant irony In the reflection that an activity (mountaineering) which in college seemed to me as detrimental to career advancement as a bad drug habit, should turn out to be the bread and butter of my career today — . . . . ‘

For the Himalayan enthusiasts ‘The K2 Mystery’ is a reflection on Art Gilkey’s death, ‘Messner and Habler: Alone at Top’ covers the philosophical aspects. There are articles on John Roskelley and five leading mountaineers of yesteryears.

The story of Hugh Herr ‘The Mechanical Boy Comes Back’ is unique for understanding the human tenacity. He lost both legs in a climbing accident. But with two artificial legs continued to do first rate rock climbs. But it is in understanding the courage of Hugh and penning it that Roberts scores. He quotes Maurice Herzog.’ “The marks of the ordeal are apparent on my body. I was saved and I had won my freedom. This freedom, which I shall never lose, has given me the assurance and serenity of a man who has fulfilled himself. It has given me the rare joy of loving that which I used to despise. A new and splendid life has opened out before me.”

May Hugh Herr, several decades hence, be able to echo Herzog’s words. The kid deserves as much.’ (p. 144)

The piece that appeals the most is ‘Patey Agonistes’ where he considers the autobiographies of climbers. He singles out Ship-Ion’s That Untravelled World and Terray’s Conquistadors of the Useless as ‘conveying more of the truth than any of the other books’. The entire concept of thumbing through autobiographies is interesting and Roberts comes out with interesting conclusions.

‘ How much of the appeal of mountaineering lies in the simpli¬fication of interpersonal relationships, its reduction of friendship to .smooth interaction (like war), its substitution of an Other (the mountain, the challenge) for the relationship itself? Behind a mystique of adventure, toughness, footloose vagabondage …. may lie a kind of adolescent refusal to take seriously aging, the frailty of others, interpersonal responsibility, weakness of all kinds the slow and unspectacular course of life itself.’ It is .studied in the other essay, ‘The Public Climber’ what price a mountaineer pays in real life, when out of his dream world of mountains.

All this brings us to the title essay ‘Moments of Doubt’. It dis¬cusses those times which come in every serious mountaineer’s life — whether to continue with a particular climb or not; or whether to climb at all. Roberts puts it in proper perspective.

‘Some of the worst moments of my life have taken place in the mountains ……………… But nowhere else on earth, not even in the harbours of reciprocal love, have I felt pure happiness take hold of me and shake me like a puppy, compelling me, and the cons¬pirators I had arrived therewith, to stand on some perch of rock or snow, the uncertain struggle below us, and bawl our pagan vaunts, to the very sky. It was worth it then’, (p. 209)
It is ironic that the mountaineers themselves, least of all, have not understood the ‘why’ of it. This book narrates various expe¬riences, thoughts and questions to think about it all. It is worth pondering over. Or perhaps as someone put it, ‘if you must ask “why”, you will never find an answer’. But if you have suffered moments of doubt do read this book.

Harish Kapadia